I totally admit
it: I sometimes watch gay porn on
line. There. Got that one out of the way. I love to say it’s for “inspiration.” And partly it is! Partly, I’m just curious. For those of you who are uninitiated, there’s
a ton of “virtual sex” for sale on the web.
From the “virtual girls” who will inhabit your PC for a price, popping
up from time to time to strut their stuff (okay, if they were hunky guys, I
might actually consider it!), to the 3D sex vids with monsters attacking tiny
elf-girls (eww!) or hunks battling it out in 3D animation (amazing how you can…
er… play up some physical attributes when the sex is animated). So when Venona and I were writing our
upcoming release, “The
Trust,” which is the story of a secret agent, Jake Anders, and the virtual man,
Trace Michelson, who inhabits his brain, I have to admit my thoughts strayed to
cybersex. It is a romance, after all.
I’ve never been one to
write “tame” stories. Modern men have
sex. Romantic love involves sex for most
people. But what do you do when you’ve
got one hero who’s supposed to be dead, but who is part of the other hero’s
life on a daily basis, talking to him, arguing with him in his mind? And what happens if the real, live man is in
love with the SIM chip who is physically a part of him? Yep.
You got it. Cyber sex.
There is a “real” HEA
for Jake, although I won’t tell you just how that works since it would spoil
the story. But you’ll have to read just
about to the end of the book to figure it out.
That’s an awful long time to wait for some real physical interaction
between my two protagonists. So what
better than virtual sex on a beach? No
sand to get in all the wrong places, no circling seagulls to dive bomb
you. And what better than a virtual man
who knows your inner thoughts and desires?
Well, in the end, Jake decides he’d much prefer the “real” Trace
Michelson over the SIM version, and he risks everything to find out if Trace
really died, six years before.
I’ll leave you with an
excerpt from “The
Trust,” which was released on June 18th.
Sex on the beach. Cyber
style. Enjoy! –Shira
Blurb:
Eight years ago, Jake Anders
was a college kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Then Trace Michelson
recruited him into The Trust, a CIA-backed agency whose “executives” eliminate
rogue biotechnology operations. Trace was everything Jake ever wanted in a man:
powerful, brilliant, and gorgeous. But Jake never admitted his attraction to his
mentor, and Trace always kept Jake at arm’s length.
Now Trace is dead and Jake is one of The Trust’s
best operatives, highly skilled and loyal to the organization. But the secret
agent has his own secret: six years ago, before he was assassinated, Trace designed
a Sim chip containing his memories and experiences—and now that chip is part of
Jake. It’s just data, designed to augment Jake’s knowledge, but when Sim
becomes reality, Jake wonders if Trace is still alive or if Jake really is
going crazy like everyone claims. He doesn’t know if he can trust himself, let
alone anyone else.
To learn the truth about Trace and the chip, Jake
embarks on a dangerous mission—except he’s not the only one looking for the
information. Some of the answers are locked in his head, and unless he finds
the key, he’ll be killed for the technology that’s become a part of him.
Now, more than ever, Jake wishes Trace were here to
guide him. Too bad he’s dead... right?
Excerpt from Chapter Eleven:
He closed his eyes and imagined himself on a beach
overlooking blue-green water. He could hear the sound of the surf hitting the
sand; he felt the spray on his face and the warmth of the sun. He took a deep
breath and followed the Sim’s instructions.
He felt a
strong pair of hands on his shoulders, digging into the tense muscles there
from above him, kneading at the stiffness. The surf pounded the shore, and a
drop of salt water hit his cheek. For the first time during a meditation, he
realized he could smell—the tangy
scent of seaweed washed up on the sand, the salt on the breeze, and something
else—the citrus aftershave he remembered from years before. Trace’s aftershave.
It was deeply unnerving. It was as though Trace were there with him, beside
him. The real Trace and not a simulation. He fought the urge to stand up and
start pacing again.
“Relax.”
Trace Michelson’s resonant voice was a surprising balm for the stress Jake
could not seem to release. The voice was also different than before: warmer,
perhaps. No longer in his mind, but right there, next to him. Real. Much like
the difference between a painting of a beautiful sunset and the sunset as it
paints the world with vibrant color, because you are there to experience it.
“You’ve
never touched me before.” Jake marveled at the strength in those long, graceful
fingers. He could almost hear the other man’s breath in his ear as he imagined
Trace’s face above his own, looking down. He didn’t open his eyes for fear that
the scene would disappear and he’d be back in his own apartment once more, alone.
“You’ve
never let me touch you, not in this
way,” the Sim responded. “Until now, you haven’t been comfortable letting me
get this close to you.”
“Hell.”
Jake sighed and gave in to the need to believe that it was Trace Michelson
touching him, and not just a simulation. “It’s all in my head, anyhow. Why
should I care what you do?” He began to relax into the warm sand, and all
thoughts of what Grey might say if he told him his Sim massaged his shoulders
on a Caribbean beach vanished.
“You will
find the answers.” Trace began to work his way down Jake’s arm, kneading the
muscles. “But you must be patient.”
“Easy for
you to say,” said Jake with a laugh. Trace worked his fingers up Jake's arms
and lingered briefly at his shoulders, working through the tension, reaching
around his neck to work the muscles of his upper back. Painful bliss.
“Relax,”
Trace commanded after a few more minutes. Jake obliged as his head sank back
further into the soft sand.
“God, that
feels so good.”
“You’re
fighting it,” Trace said, his face again close to Jake’s.
“Hell no.
It’s just that I’m starting to feel like Jell-O.”
“I’m not
talking about your body,” the Sim replied. “I’m talking about your mind, your
spirit.”
“My mind?”
“You must
open your mind, Jake, and see the infinite possibilities.”
A flash of
color hovered on the periphery of Jake’s consciousness: the mandala. “What am I
supposed to see in it?” he asked as Trace caressed his chest. “What am I missing?”
“The
future. Your future is there.”
“Right now,
I’m just seein’ myself dead,” Jake answered acerbically. “And that’s what I
see, no matter which way I look.”
“You’re
better than that—stronger. You’re capable of so much more than
you’re willing to admit. This is no different from any mission you’ve been sent
on in the past. Only perhaps there is more to be gained in the end.”
“Will you
be waiting there?” Jake asked.
There was
no answer. Trace followed a line to the sensitive skin under Jake's ear, and he
felt gooseflesh rise on his body.
“God,
Trace,” he whispered, “what are you doing?”
“I’m merely
responding to your wishes, to your desires.” Jake imagined Trace’s lips close
to his ear. “It’s what I’m programmed to do.”
“My…
desires?” Jake wondered aloud. “Trace… he programmed you to…?”
“My programming
has never been completely static,” Trace replied as he ghosted a pair of silken
palms over the muscles of Jake’s chest, and Jake’s body arched instinctively upward. “I’m only responding to your needs, your desires.”
“Have I
desired this?” Jake mused. He was a sexual being, although he’d never found a
man who could completely satisfy him. And yet, this man whom he’d worshipped
from afar….
“You
hesitate because you do not know what to believe of your unspoken need,” Trace
explained calmly.
“I….”
“It's your
desire that guides me. And it's your fear that holds you back.”
“I’m
afraid,” Jake admitted.
“You’re
afraid of being with me.” Jake knew Trace was right. Was it so unreasonable to
be afraid of Trace? He was nothing more than a ghost.
“How did
you know,” Jake asked, uncomprehending, “when I didn’t understand it myself?”
“I’m a part
of you. I can’t be separated from you, nor can I fail to hear what's in your
heart.”
Jake moaned
again. The feel of Trace’s fingers on his scalp made him want to….
“Open your
eyes, Jake Anders,” that glorious voice now commanded. “Open your
eyes.”
Jake
obeyed, looking into the most stunning eyes he’d ever known, their deep blue now appearing almost gray in the bright sunlight. It was as if he were
seeing those eyes for the first time—they were no longer the cold, controlled eyes of
the man who had mentored him but the eyes of a lover, warm
and deep. Trace was naked, his hair wet from the water. Jake realized that he
was naked, as well.
“Trace,” he
whispered as their lips met. He ran his fingers over the well-defined chest,
the smooth pale skin that seemed to glow in the sunlight. “You’re so goddamn
beautiful. I never knew….” His voice trailed off as he felt Trace run his hands
through his hair with its ends now painted in sand. Trace licked his ear, and
Jake gasped. Why did this all seem so real? And how hadn’t he understood what
he’d felt all along? He smiled for a moment at the realization that Grey had
correctly guessed at his heart, then silently cursed the man for it.
“Do you
understand, now, what you’ve denied yourself all these years?” Trace whispered,
biting the lobe of Jake’s ear and sucking it for a moment. “Do you understand
why I always kept you at arm’s length?”
“You didn’t
want to hurt me.” Jake was momentarily stricken by the thought that the real
man behind the Sim might not have desired him in the same way. To Trace, he’d
been just a kid, eager, willing, and yet unable to comprehend the
adult whispers of his soul.
Jake
couldn't deny it any longer: after years spent with the Sim as his constant
companion, he’d grown to love Trace. It was utterly absurd. But as he lay on
the beach with the water lapping at his toes, the absurdity of falling in love
with the ghost who inhabited his mind didn't matter. Here, in this place, that
love felt real.
“I wanted
you to make your own choices.”
I want this now. I want him.
Jake pulled
Trace on top of him, raking his back with his nails until he heard a low groan
in response. Then, roughly, he drew Trace's face back to his and found his lips
once again, probing Trace’s mouth with an insistent and demanding tongue,
relishing the warmth as it opened to him. He had never tasted anything as
sinfully sweet.
“Jake, what
do you want?” Trace wrapped his arms around Jake and pulled him closer.
“I want you,” moaned Jake, his hands grasping at
the tensed muscles of Trace’s shoulders, feeling the power there.
Trace
pushed Jake back onto the sand, his eyes hooded with lust. He sucked hard at
the base of Jake’s neck, then moved lower, biting a nipple and laving the
outline of it with his tongue. Jake growled as Trace took the pebbled flesh
between his teeth and rolled it there, biting it again, just enough to sting.
“Oh, fuck…
Trace!” he cried out. Where did a Sim chip learn to do that? The thought was
quickly replaced by thrumming need. He went to push Trace over, to dominate him
as he was being dominated, but Trace was far stronger than he remembered, and
he remained pinned beneath the smaller man.
Trace’s eyes
grew darker still as he pushed Jake’s wrists into the sand at his sides. Jake
ceased his struggle, surrendering to his companion until he felt Trace’s hard
cock against his. But the blissful pressure of that contact was quickly gone as
Trace leaned down, then drew lazy circles on his abdomen with his pink tongue,
making his way slowly downward to the point that Jake thought he might lose his
sanity in the pleasure of the other man’s touch.
“God,
Trace.” The sun-heated water lapped at Jake’s feet as Trace’s lips parted and
he felt the warmth of Trace’s mouth, exploring the length of him, tasting and
sucking there.
Now I’ve really lost my mind.
“Hardly,”
murmured Trace, circling his tongue around the sensitive tip before swallowing
it down until his mouth met the reddish curls at the base of Jake’s cock.
“You’ve just found it.”
He could
barely breathe to feel that warm heat. And that tongue! God, that tongue was at
once both heavenly and sinful. Trace sucked in his cheeks, increasing the
pressure—that
incredible, perfect pressure that made Jake forget everything. Teeth, lips, and
tongue combined in the most exquisite way.
Jake
realized his lover no longer held his wrists when he felt lithe fingers scrape
the sensitive skin of his perineum and a firm hand cup his balls, then roll
them about. “Shit!” he cried out, the sound of his voice lost on the crashing
waves. “Shit, shit, shit!” A finger pressed against his tight opening, and it
was just too much for him. He came hard in Trace’s mouth, shuddering and clutching
Trace's hair in his hands.
The cell
phone alarm buzzed, and Jake awoke with a start, panting. He was still on the
couch, wearing the same pair of pants as before. The apartment was dark. He was
soaked in sweat. He felt the sticky warmth of his release on his abdomen. He
was half-hard just remembering.
“Helluva
dream,” he muttered to himself. He got up and headed for the shower, stripped
off his pants, and set the temperature as cold as he could stand it. “You are
one fucked-up SOB,” he added, shaking his head and grabbing the shampoo.
That was a dream, wasn’t it? he wondered as he rinsed the shampoo from his long
hair.
About Shira:
In her last
incarnation, Shira Anthony was a professional opera singer, performing roles in
such operas as Tosca, Pagliacci, and La Traviata,
among others. She’s given up TV for evenings spent with her laptop, and she
never goes anywhere without a pile of unread M/M romance on her Kindle.
Shira is married
with two children and two insane dogs, and when she’s not writing, she is
usually in a courtroom trying to make the world safer for children. When
she’s not working, she can be found aboard a 30’ catamaran at the Carolina
coast with her favorite sexy captain at the wheel.
Shira has written three
books for Dreamspinner
Press, including the "Blue
Notes" series of classical music themed gay romances. The second book in that series, The Melody Thief, will be released on August 24, 2012.