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Monday, February 9, 2015

A poly love triangle.



NR WALKER ON WRITING POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS

Polyamorous relationships are called a lot of things: taboo, fantasy, impossible, a thing of fiction. Rarely are they called real.
But the thing about threesomes is that sometimes they do work, they’re some fantastical delusion of ego, they are in fact a very real thing. Sometimes three people can fall in love, and make it work. It’s not always about the sex, it’s about connection and how three people contribute equally to a relationship, the way any ‘standard’ couple would work. Except there are three of them.
I wrote Three’s Company because the main character in my head fell in love with two men. Not because I wanted to tread on toes or push boundaries, or breach a taboo subject. Wilson Curtis met Adam and Simon (an already established couple) and three of them clicked.
They each contributed equally. The three of them brought something different to the table that enriched the relationship as a whole.  Adam and Simon were inclined to bring a third person into their bed occasionally, for nothing more than sexual fun. But when things became deeper, each man needed to evaluate their own needs, their own expectations and perceptions: Can a permanent threesome work? Will each individual have their needs met, be fulfilled and encouraged? Will each man be respected and included? Can it really work?
Of course it can.
And not just in fiction.
I’ve shown this article off before (on my blog) but it’s truly a great insight into what people sometimes can’t believe is a real thing. It’s an amazing article on life in a “real-life throuple” – Benny Morecock, of Cockyboys fame, and his two live-in boyfriends, Jason and Adrian*. (link below)
It tells of how an existing couple met and introduced a third man into their nine-year relationship, not too unlike how my characters Simon and Adam accepted newcomer Wil into their lives.
I almost wish this article had been released while I was writing Three’s Company, but unfortunately it was only released in nymag.com after I’d written it.  Not that it would have changed the story in any way, but it would have reinforced in my mind that what my three boys were going through was not only possible, but very real.
This article tells how these three men live together, and how the dynamics work, from how needs are met to sleeping arrangements.
It’s a no holds barred look into a “throuple” as they call it, or a loving, polyamorous relationship.
The link to the 2012 article is
I know there’s a stigma attached to poly relationships, but I thought this article was really appropriate for my story, Three’s Company. What I wanted to reiterate from this article to Three’s Company, is the lack of jealousy. All three men are equal in this relationship, as are Wil, Simon and Adam. They each have unique dynamics with one another, and contribute and receive on different, rotating levels.
People might wonder if Wil gets less of a relationship because he has to ‘share’ but I’m sure after you’ve read Three’s Company you’ll realise it’s quite the opposite. He gets so much more.
*Adrian is not his real name—at the time of printing this article, Adrian’s real name was not disclosed for personal reasons.


Blurb
When looking for someone to help heal his broken heart, Wilson Curtis never dreamed he’d find two someones. Love isn’t always conventional.
After being publicly outed and his restaurant business in tatters, instead of vacationing with his lover, Wilson Curtis goes to Key West alone where he meets Simon and Adam. Fascinated by this couple, he strikes up conversation and is soon invited into their bed for some holiday fun.
But once isn’t enough, and the offer is extended for the remainder of his stay. As they get to know each other, in and out of the bedroom, sparks fly and ten days is all it takes to change their lives.
When it comes time for Wil to leave, with outside tensions closing in and time running out, tempers flare and emotions fray. Beneath the misunderstandings and lack of communication is the realisation these three men aren’t ready to say goodbye.
Reader Advisory: This book was previously released at another publisher. It has been revised and re-edited for release with Totally Bound.

Excerpt from Three’s Company:
    Simon stood up and walked behind the bar and kissed the side of Adam’s head. He whispered something in his ear, and Adam smiled.
    Adam walked around to my side of the bar and grabbed my hand. “Come on,” he said. And without giving me a chance to argue, he pulled me to my feet.
    “What are you doing?”
    Adam laughed. “ You’re going to dance.”
    “Here?” I asked incredulously. We were standing at the bar! I turned to look at the other men who were dancing, only to find them gone. “But no one else is dancing,” I told him, and he looked at me and grinned.
    “And no one else can see us,” he said simply.
    Realizing he wasn’t going to let me get out of dancing, I spun around to look at Adam’s boyfriend. “Um…Simon…”
    Adam slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. “Simon doesn’t mind, believe me.”
    He was an inch or two shorter than my six-foot-one height, but I could feel his chest against mine and his hands on my back, holding me to him. I could feel the heat of his body, I could smell him…then Adam started to move his feet, just side to side in a swaying motion. I’d never danced with a man before, much less slow-danced with a man while his boyfriend watched.
    It was heady. I’d only had three beers, but my head was swimming.
    I could feel Simon’s gaze on me and found myself looking back at him. It was obviously okay for Adam to dance with another man because Simon looked rather pleased. In fact, he looked a little smug.
    When he walked over to us, I froze. But he stepped right up to us and kissed Adam soundly, and I gasped in shock. Holy hell, it was one thing to see a man kiss another man, but to see two men kiss when one of them had his arms around me… Jesus…
    Simon walked away, and Adam tightened his embrace and whispered into my neck, “Is this okay?”
    All I could do was nod.
    “Does it feel good?”
    My heart was hammering, and I nodded.
    “Did Ron what’s-his-name ever make you feel good?”     I didn’t bother correcting his name. Did Rod ever make me feel good? Did I come? Yes. But did he ever make me feel desired? Wanted? Well, no…no, he didn’t.
    I must have taken too long to answer because Adam stopped moving and pulled back to look at me. “Did he?”
    I shook my head. “No. Not really.”
    Adam pulled me against him again and shook his head. “Now that’s a terrible shame.”
    I noticed then that Simon was turning off lights, and closing and locking doors. When the music stopped, I figured the dance was over.
    But Adam never stopped moving. In fact, he held me tighter.
    He dug his fingers into my skin, and pressed his body against me. I could feel him, all of him. I had no doubt he could feel me, what he did to me, how hard I was. And when he snaked his hand down my back, over my ass and pulled our hips together, I knew he could feel how hard I was.
    Then Simon was next to us. I should have been alarmed, but I wasn’t. And when he put his arm on my lower back, I should have shied away, but I didn’t.
    I welcomed it.
    And when Simon stepped behind me, slowly pressing against my back, I should have said stop. But I didn’t.
    I moaned.
    Adam pulled back a little to look me in the eyes. He never spoke. He didn’t have to. But he was silently asking me if this was okay, if I wanted him to stop. So I dug my fingers into his skin to hold him a little tighter as my answer. He smiled then trailed his lips over my neck, kissing over my jaw, and asked with a gruff whisper, “What do you want? What do you want to feel?”
    The words were out before I could stop them. “I want to feel desired…wanted.”    Simon’s hands moved to my hips and his lips came close to my ear. “We can show you what that feels like.”
    As both men pressed against me, sandwiching me while Adam kissed my exposed neck, I let my head fall back onto Simon’s shoulder. I uncurled my arm from around Adam’s back to pull my room key from my pocket. I tried to find the words to tell them what I wanted, what I needed, but I was panting and could only say one word.
    “Please.”

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